New Love
by Rally4ever
Summary: I got this idea after watching a rerun of Touched by an Angel... How can Monica deal with certain types of temptation when her heart is broken?
1. Into The Desert

I really don't know if this has been done before, but I saw a rerun of this Touched by an Angel episode and just had this idea I had to write about it. How different would the episode have been if something or someone had changed? I don't own Touched by an Angel or any of its affiliated characters.

* * *

The bombing of that building before her eyes had devastated Monica's heart. All that death, true they were all going home to the Father. Yet, the suffering, the pain that humans inflicted upon each other she couldn't understand it at all; especially when God's unconditional love was available for them to experience. She had walked away from her assignment of showing this 'new-born' angel Gloria the ropes, so to speak. How could she help Gloria learn how to use her heart, when hers was breaking so… she walked away from her assignment, from God's will. God always had a plan, she knew this, she had always known, yet that did not lessen the heart break. Now, she had found her way to the desert with a little 'help,' she needed to be alone to think.  
She was an Angel on the brink. Had the Father forsaken her? No, she put herself from his face, she knew that. She'd find her way back.

How did she get here… to this place?

She didn't know how long she had walked down the road, she had lost all sense of time, time is not as relevant to God or to Angels as it is to humans.  
All she did know is that she was tired emotionally and physically, in this form.

A car slowed down beside her,

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to the desert." She replied.

he responded, "Let me take you there, at least…"

She said, "I want to be alone."

And she did, she thought the car would move on, until the driver addressed her by name,

"Monica, get in the car. You know you want to. You're tired anyway. Are you going to go the whole forty days and forty nights,  
or should we cut to the chase?"

She stopped in her tracks and finally looked at him,

"I've spent my whole existence trying to avoid you. Why would I ride with you now?"

he replied as he opened the car door, "Because you know it's time."

She said as she got in the passenger seat, "I suppose I do."

"Humans don't understand love. Not really." She explained exasperated and confused.

he replied, "You do? Of course you do. Do you think you could do it better? Would you waste it?"

Then she was some place else… some time else… she didn't know where.

"What's this?" Monica questioned.

"It's the life you could have, Monica. It's a short one, but that doesn't make it any less sweet. Humans love in a way, angels never could." he explained.

Monica looked at the vision before her:

The most vibrant green grass, purple flowers growing around, a bright white house, and two beautiful kids playing in the yard,  
a creek flowing through the yard. What could this mean?

She turned back to him, a questioning expression still upon her face…

he told her, "Look… at what's before you. I could give you this. Keep looking."

Then she saw it, she saw herself with child, with life inside of her…

She instinctively grabbed her stomach, as she said… "I always wondered what it would be like to be a mother."

he replied, "Angels can't do that. Carry life. Kids are great. You watch them grow up, they give you grief but that's life."

She looked back at the ethereal scene before her…

The children, the girl with red hair and deep blue eyes, the boy with brown- blonde hair and shining brown eyes. She saw the resemblance of  
her in the girl… and the boy … she wasn't so sure. She supposed he must resemble his father.

She heard the other her say, "Kids... Tess, A.J., I need you to go inside soon and wash up for dinner."

Then she heard a comforting voice, "Angel girl, you look more beautiful every time I see you."

She looked on and her breath almost caught in her throat at the sight of a familiar face,

The voice continued, "Andrew Jr., you heard your mother… Tess you too."

Monica gasped, "He has his father's name…"

he replied, "Yes, the boy does. That's normal… humans like to be remembered. Fathers often pass their names onto their sons."

Monica whispered, "Andrew…"

She watched as he came towards the other her, he put his hand on her belly and held her closer to him…  
Monica noticed the shining gold band on his left hand.

The other Monica, her but not her, breathed in a deep breath and said, "I love the smell of lilacs."

"Only you could make them grow… like this." Andrew smiled.

The other Monica mused, "They bloom for such a short season, which makes the fragrance all the sweeter."

Andrew beamed with pride as he said, "I married an Irish poet."

The other her smiled back, she turned towards her 'husband' and he gave her a kiss. A deep, loving kiss one which seemed to  
take the breath away from them both. Then, they parted.

Andrew commented, looking at his wife and children he smiled more, "This must be heaven, because it doesn't get much better than this.  
This right here is heaven on Earth."

Monica viewed the scene as it disappeared from her, she gingerly placed her fingers upon her lips, it was almost as if she could really feel  
Andrew's lingering kiss. Suddenly, she felt a pang of unexplainable longing which she had never known before.

he said to her, "I know what you're feeling Monica, even if you don't."

To that, Monica replied, "You know then… what I'm feeling in my heart."

he responded knowingly, "Yes, you feel love in your heart for him."

Monica responded, "What would you know of love? You, who perpetrates lust in the human heart."

he replied, "I'm not all bad. You remember don't you… how I was before the fall from grace?"

She answered, "Yes, I remember. I know who you were Lucifer. And I know who I am.  
I belong to God, I am His Angel."

he said, "Then you know, that this is forbidden. I deal in the forbidden. I know what it's like to be an angel, to be in His good graces.  
Yet, he won't let you feel this kind of love."

Monica replied, "If this is love as you say, then He above all would know… He would understand."

he questioned, "Are you so sure? Can you take that risk?"

Monica stated, "God is love. Perhaps that was your true downfall, you forgot who  
He was, is, and always will be."


	2. Ready For A Fall

I don't own Touched By An Angel or its characters… but I do own this story and I thought I had lost this chapter when my computer crashed but I found it and wanted to put it up.  
I'd like to dedicate this chapter in memory of the amazing John Dye who always brought comfort, strength, and love as Andrew.

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Monica threw the shawl she wore into the wind; towards the direction of the abyss below her. No dove appeared; as if an affirmation that peace would not come. Was the Spirit still with her, was the Father's anointing still on her? How could she be peaceable? After seeing such chaos, needless devastation of human life… but somehow and she was almost ashamed that what troubled her more was what _he_ had shown her; she did not know why it should disquiet her so. She now finally understood what true temptation was; not by a frightening 'evil' was she confronted but by something that presented itself otherwise; as an attractive almost heavenly alternative.

Monica could not shake the vision she had seen; a life that even to an Angel seemed so perfect, too good to be true. A human existence with Andrew as her husband with their children; their family. They even had a place, a home of their own… white with vibrant green grass all around, even now… on the top of a cliff over looking the grand canyon with _him_ below singing a song beckoning her to take a fall… she almost could smell the scent of lilacs.

She opened her eyes, and before her a lilac bush suddenly grew on the edge of the cliff.

And tears filled her eyes as she saw the sign from the Father… He knew she loves lilacs. He grew lilacs there just for her, took His time and paid attention to an angel feeling so alone.  
He had not forgotten or abandoned her, of course not. She just needed reminding.

She smiled and gave thanks to God for his goodness, in all things.

For His peace and love that surpassed understanding.

And the singing had stopped too, _he_ knew _he_ had lost.

_he_ would never be able to win and _he_ vanished, fled.

Again a dove appeared in a desert and an angel felt reborn.

She made her way back to the city and towards the hospital where so many surviving victims were being treated. Where God had meant for her to go all along; and she knew who else would be there too and she wasn't sure she was ready to face … well she would follow God's will. No matter what, she would let the Father lead and guide her.

"Where could she be Tess?" Andrew questioned exasperated as he was pacing.

Tess noted the panic in his voice and his pained expression…

"I'm going to find her. That's it. I can't just wait here like this not knowing." Andrew sounded determined as he moved to head towards the hospital doors.

Tess grabbed his wrist saying, "Andrew, no you are not to go. You are needed here and you know that. You have a job to do. We all do; we have an assignment."

"But Tess, Monica is out there. Alone." Andrew stated.

"You know that is not true, she is not alone wherever she is." Tess replied.

"But I am not with her Tess, I am not there with her and I want to be. This assignment has really been hard on her."

"Angel boy, it has been hard on us all. Especially hard for the Father. Andrew you can trust her in the Father's hands. She must come back on her own.  
Why do you feel so compelled to find Monica?"

Andrew tried to explain, "I don't know Tess; I can't explain it myself. It's just in this form I feel especially protective of her; she is delicate. No harm should come to her.  
Besides the Father, I feel most connected to her. She is my, well I believe the human expression is… my best friend. She is yet… it doesn't seem enough to call her that."

Tess processed what Andrew had said and realization was dawning on her even if Andrew had yet to understand the significance of his concern or of his statement.

She prayed a silent questioning prayer to God, "Oh Father, can this be possible?  
My two angel babies are…"

Before she could finish her prayer, the hospital doors opened and there was Monica, dressed with new white clothes, looking in much better shape than when she had left…

Andrew rushed to her and proceeded to take her in his arms in a strong, shielding embrace as he said, "Angel girl, thank the Father you are all-right.  
I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."

"Oh Andrew…" Monica whispered into his chest as he held her. And that pang she had felt seeing that vision returned maybe it had never really left her,  
but she was feeling it grow stronger the longer she stayed in his arms. She had never stayed so long in his arms before except in what seemed a dream.

She pulled away more quickly than she should have, than she would have usually and said, "I am fine. Thank you Andrew. I appreciate your concern for me.  
There is work to be done now."

Monica gave a smile and started to make her way through the hospital, Andrew and Tess watched her go as she helped the survivors of the blast;  
she began to encourage them and remind them that God loves them.

Andrew knew he had work to do as well, all angels on board for this case. Before he got back to continuing what he should do… he said, "Tess, I am glad, grateful  
she is back with us. But did I do or say something wrong? She pulled away from me as if I had burned her."

Tess replied comfortingly though she had noticed it too, "Just give her some time Andrew. She will come around and talk to us when she is ready.  
I sense she still has much on her mind and heart."

Andrew stated, "Of course. You are right Tess and I will be right there for her when the time comes. I can wait, as long it takes, as long as she needs."

Tess patted his shoulder as she said, "Good. Just be patient."

Andrew replied with a smile, "I can do patient Tess."

Tess prayed silently to herself, 'God give them courage.'


	3. Called

Thank you for all of the support I do not own Touched By An Angel or any affiliated characters.

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Andrew was an angel, The Angel of Death patience was practically built into him for the Father's sake… but he was beginning to understand the frustration  
humans felt when there were too many questions and few too answers.

It had been two weeks since the blast and they had remained in the town to bring comfort to the survivors to remind them of God's goodness and love for them.

Monica had not talked much about her ordeal, not to Gloria or him, not even to Tess.

All he knew, all she had been willing to share was that she had gone into the desert; she was tempted by the devil with images and by God's grace had not fallen off the cliff into Satan's waiting arms.

He was proud of her strength; Andrew continually gave thanks to God that she was not lost to him.

Yet, he was her best friend… at least he believed he was. How could he help her if she continued to keep him at a distance?  
Maybe it was selfish… he knew she had God, the Spirit to comfort her but that did not mean he didn't want her to know he was there for her as well.

He saw Monica in the children's ward with a kid, a smile on her face. She had always been good with children, but something about her lately had seemed to make her even more so.

He was drawn to her; as she left the room she turned around and watched a young boy named Billy as he drifted off to sleep.

He walked towards her and stood behind her.

Even without him announcing himself, she could sense him, ever since the vision she was becoming ever more aware of his presence and it was more than a little unnerving to her.

They stood there together silent for some time, usually silence would be comfortable for them.

Monica could not bear it anymore, and struggled to for something to say, "Billy lost his mother in the explosion."

Andrew replied, "I know, I had the honor of escorting her home. I'm sure she is thankful; you have been so great and so kind with him."

Monica fought against the soft tears that threatened to fall but it was no use, "A child like Billy is such a gift; I've cherished this time with him.  
He has relatives; I know God will keep him safe. But I will miss him so much Andrew."

He didn't know what compelled him but he hugged her from behind wanting to provide comfort for her as immediately as he could.

"I'm right here for you always. It will be okay, everything will be. You have such a beautiful heart, I see you…"

He continued in a whisper, "Angel girl, you look more beautiful every time I see you."

Monica's breath caught in her throat at those words, those haunting words.  
His voice caused an ache in her soul.  
Her heart began to pound so franticly against her chest; she could even hear it loudly in her ears.  
She was afraid wondering if Andrew could hear it as well.

And his hands on hers, on her stomach… it was like fire to her, he caused a burning flame whenever he touched her, wherever she felt his skin on hers.

'Oh God…' Monica thought, 'What is this? Am I being tested? What is he doing to me?'

It physically pained Monica but she shook his hands off of hers, his arms from around her waist and said, "Andrew, stop please. I can't…"

"Monica, I'm sorry. What did I do? Talk to me." Andrew asked hurt and confused.

Before Monica could respond, Tess came to them.

Monica and Andrew composed themselves.

Tess noticed their close proximity; she'd been keeping a close eye on her two angel babies ever since Monica's return.  
She'd been praying to God for them, hoping they would realize what was happening before they wounded each other beyond repair.  
She wanted desperately to give them all the answers, help them as she always had but the Father had told her they would have to figure it out on their own.  
He would guide them, if they only let Him.

"Angel babies, God has an assignment for you both."

Monica replied, "Tess what about the survivors? I'd like to stay longer…"

"You know that we don't get to pick and choose; we follow His will Ms. Wings.  
The Father may allow you to return later, but Gloria and I can handle things here."

"You won't be coming with us Tess?" Andrew questioned.

"Not this time baby. God meant this for you two."

"I see." Andrew acquiesced.

"What can you tell us Tess?" Monica asked.

"I can say that you two are the perfect ones for this assignment."

Monica choked backed tears, "I'll miss you Tess."

"I'm always with you; in your heart … it won't be for long. I love you both." Tess replied hugging Monica and Andrew,

"It's time for you to go… remember the Father has a plan for everything."


End file.
